Director: Stephen Sommers. Cast: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Dennis Quaid, Christopher Eccleston, Ray Park, Jonathan Pryce, Arnold Vosloo, Brendan Fraser. 118 min. Rated PG-13. Action.
Sometimes, Hollywood excels in the realm of stupid, and GI. Joe is a record breaker. It's director, Stephen Sommers, had already proven in Van Helsing and the Mummy trilogy to be a master of ripping off other franchises; here, I had a hard time counting the number of franchises he'd blessed with his brainless screenplay (the Bond movies? X-Men? Star Wars? Nightmare on Elm Street? ...). The acting is insultingly amateur, the dialogues are excruciatingly dumb, and the plot only provides an excuse to showcase every other Hasbro G.I. Joe toy in recent memory. What a piece of junk.
(PS: The Paris chase scene was OK. I'll give 'em that.)